9 Best Funny Funeral Songs

(Verse 1)
At first, I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong, and I learned how to get along

(Chorus)
And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me

(Verse 2)
Go on now, go, walk out the door
Just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?

(Chorus)
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey

(Bridge)
It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high

(Chorus)
And you see me somebody new
I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in, and just expect me to be free
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me

(Chorus)
Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive, I will survive, hey, hey

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.

There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.

There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.

There's sulfur, californium and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin and sodium.

These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,
And there may be many others but they haven't been discah'vard.

Crossing the highway late last night
He should've looked left and he should've looked right
He didn't see the station wagon car
The skunk got squashed and there you are

You got your dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinking to high heaven

Take a whiff on me, that ain't no rose
Roll up your window and hold your nose
You don't have to look and you don't have to see
'Cause you can feel it in your olfactory

You got your dead cat and you're front lawn
You got your dead cat and you're front lawn
You got your dead cat and you're front lawn
Stinking to high heaven

Yeah, you got your dead dog, you got your dead toad
Got a dead cat and you're front lawn
Got a dead rat and you're bathroom
Stinking to high, high, high, high heaven

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog
And we'd begged her not to go
But she'd left her medication
So she stumbled out the door into the snow

When they found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
There were hoof prints on her forehead
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And a blue and silver candle
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They should never give a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
Merry Christmas!

A long time ago, when the Earth was green
There were more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
But the loveliest of them all was the Unicorn

There were green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the Unicorn

Now God seen some sinnin' and it gave him pain
And he says, "Stand back, I'm gonna make it rain"
He says, "Hey, Brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo"

"Take some of them green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget My Unicorn"

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the Ark just as the rain started fallin'
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through

"Hey, Lord, I got your green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't see no Unicorn"

And then Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them Unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pourin'
Oh, them silly Unicorns

There were green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door, 'cause the rain is pourin'
And we just can't wait for no Unicorn"

The Ark started movin', and it drifted with the tide
Them Unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters come down and sort of floated them away
That's why you've never seen a Unicorn to this very day

But you'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty-backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no Unicorn

A long, long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn
Could talk the Federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack
But their response, it didn't thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass
We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That's where we found this boy...

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landside
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me
To me
Mama
Mama? Ah
Mama, ah
Mama
Mama
Mama, ah-ha-ha-ha
Mama, mama, mama, mama
Mama, mama, mama, mama, ah
Mama, yoo-hoo
Mama?
Yoo-hoo, mama
Mama?
Mama
Dada?
Dada?
I see a little silhouetto of a clam
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango?
Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me
Me, me, me, me (Galileo)
Me, me, me, me (Galileo)
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, (Galileo, Figaro) magnifico
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity (gnam, gnam, gnam)
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Manam, manam
Doo, doo, doo, doo doo, doo (let me throw)
(Manam, manam) they will not let you throw (let me blow)
(Manam, manam) they will not let you go (let me joke)
Do not like your jokes (let me joke)
Do not like your jokes (let me joke)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Furniguiri, furniguiri, mama mia let me go
Does anyone know if there is a part for me, for me?
For me?
So they tell us this video is going to fly
All I know is we're not getting paid tonight
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here (right now)
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, yeah
Ooh, yeah
Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Nothing really matters
Nothing really matters
But moi
Any way the wind blows