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My Funeral

Author: Wendy Cope

This Page Includes: Full Verses of the Poem in Text. A Recording of the Poem (Audio). A Free PDF Download for reading purposes. Free Editable Google Doc Download if you wish to make changes or to personalise the poem. The page also includes what the poem is about, structure of poem and explaining the best parts.

My Funeral Poem Verses

I hope I can trust you, friends, not to use our relationship
As an excuse for an unsolicited ego-trip.
I have seen enough of them at funerals and they make me cross.
At this one, though deceased, I aim to be the boss.
If you are asked to talk about me for five minutes, please do not go on for eight.
There is a strict timetable at the crematorium and nobody wants to be late.
If invited to read a poem, just read the bloody poem. If requested
To sing a song, just sing it, as suggested,
And don’t say anything. Though I will not be there,
Glancing pointedly at my watch and fixing the speaker with a malevolent stare.
Remember that this was how I always reacted
When I felt that anybody’s speech, sermon or poetry reading was becoming too
protracted.
Yes, I was intolerant, and not always polite
And if there aren’t many people at my funeral, it will serve me right.

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Please note the audio recording may not exactly match the text version as 'My Funeral' can be tailored/personalised

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Personalised Poem

Would you like to customise this poem? You have the option to personalise it by accessing the provided link, which will direct you to Google Docs. From there, you can download the poem ‘Memories’ to your personal Google Docs account or Microsoft Word where you will be able to edit the poem however you want.

Personalised Poem

About the poem

The poem is a humorous and somewhat irreverent reflection on the speaker's own funeral. The speaker addresses their friends directly, expressing their desire for a straightforward and efficient ceremony. They request that their friends not use the occasion as an opportunity to indulge in self-promotion or draw out their speeches, reminding them of the time constraints at the crematorium. The speaker acknowledges their own impatience and intolerance and suggests that if their funeral is sparsely attended, it will be a consequence of their own behavior. Despite the humorous tone, the poem also touches on the anxiety and control that the speaker feels about their own mortality and the way they will be remembered after they are gone.

The Structure of Poem

The poem is a humorous take on the speaker's own funeral and the way they want it to be conducted. The structure of the poem is composed of four stanzas, each with four lines, and with a regular rhyme scheme. The speaker's instructions to their friends on how to behave at their funeral are presented in a light-hearted tone and with a touch of sarcasm. The poem is an example of the use of humor to deal with a serious subject, and it highlights the speaker's personality and their attitude towards life and death.

Best Quote from My Funeral Poem

This is a quote from the poem My Funeral by Wendy Cope

"If you are asked to talk about me for five minutes, please do not go on for eight."

This quote is a humorous and lighthearted reminder to keep things brief and on schedule at a funeral, while also showcasing the speaker's personality and quirks.